'Wobbly-tooth puberty': How children's brains change at six-years-old

Around the age of six, children enter a unique stage of development often called 'wobbly-tooth puberty. ' This term, used in German-speaking countries, describes the emotional ups and downs that many kids experience as they start to lose their baby teeth and become more independent. Unlike the hormonal changes of teenage puberty, this period is marked by significant psychological and social growth. Children at this age are building the foundation for more mature thinking and feeling, and their brains are undergoing important changes that help them understand themselves and others better.

During middle childhood, which spans from about six to twelve years old, kids begin to form a stronger sense of identity. They start to ask themselves who they are and how they relate to the people around them. Their emotional world becomes more complex, and they learn to express a wider range of feelings. While toddlers rely on adults to help them manage their emotions, six-year-olds are expected to handle more on their own. This can be challenging, leading to mood swings, frustration, or even rebellious behavior.

One of the key developments during this time is the ability to talk about emotions. As children's vocabularies grow, they can describe their feelings more clearly, which helps them communicate their needs and get support from others. For example, instead of throwing a tantrum when upset, a child might say, 'I'm angry' or 'I'm sad. ' This not only helps adults respond more effectively but also helps the child start to manage their own emotions.

However, emotional regulation is still a work in progress. Children may struggle to control their feelings, especially when faced with new challenges like making friends, following rules, or dealing with disappointment. They are also learning to see things from other people's perspectives, a skill known as 'theory of mind. ' This allows them to understand that others may have different thoughts and feelings, which is crucial for building friendships and resolving conflicts.

Social relationships become increasingly important during middle childhood. Kids spend more time with peers, both in and out of school, and start to form 'reciprocal friendships' based on mutual understanding and support. They also become more sensitive to issues like fairness and inclusion. Research shows that as children develop better social reasoning, they are less likely to feel lonely and more likely to act kindly toward others, such as including someone who is being left out.

At the same time, greater awareness of others' thoughts and feelings can lead to self-doubt. Children may worry about whether their friends like them as much as they like their friends, a phenomenon known as the 'liking gap. ' This can make social situations feel more stressful, but it is a normal part of growing up.

Adults play a crucial role in helping children navigate these changes. Regular conversations about emotions and social situations can teach kids how to handle their feelings and think about others' perspectives. For example, if a child is upset because a friend was mean, a parent can help them consider why the friend acted that way and how to respond. Over time, these discussions help children develop the skills they need to manage their emotions and relationships, preparing them for the challenges of adolescence and beyond.

In summary, the changes that happen around age six are a vital part of growing up. Children learn to understand and express their feelings, build stronger friendships, and become more independent. With support from adults, they can navigate this sometimes turbulent period and emerge more confident and capable.