Virtual Parents: The Online Hug Every Stressed Chinese Millennial Needs

Vincent Zhang is a 33-year-old web developer living in Shanghai. During his meals, he has a habit of checking his phone to watch a middle-aged couple online who act as 'virtual parents. ' This couple, Pan Huqian and Zhang Xiuping, have become very popular on Douyin, which is the Chinese version of TikTok. They have nearly two million followers and are known for their warm and supportive messages to viewers. In their videos, they often say things like, 'Are you tired from work and study lately? Don't push yourself too hard. Mum and Dad know that you have endured a lot. ' Many young people leave comments calling them mum and dad, sharing their stories, and asking for birthday wishes.

The reason why so many young people like Vincent turn to these 'virtual parents' is because they feel a lot of pressure from their real families. Vincent says his parents never tell him to take it easy or that he is good enough. Instead, they often criticize his choices, especially his job. They believe a government job would be more stable and keep asking him when he will bring home a girlfriend. Vincent finds these conversations stressful and feels like his parents always think he is doing something wrong.

Pan, the man in the videos, understands this pain because he also had a difficult childhood. He had to leave home at 14 to support his family after his mother became paralyzed. He says his parents never encouraged him, so he decided to be a different kind of parent for his own daughter. She often appears in their videos, and Pan makes sure to tell her he loves her. Many young people in China, like Vincent, feel caught between the high expectations of their parents and the tough job market. Unemployment among young people has been high, and many feel burnt out. Some use memes and jokes to talk about their struggles with their parents, like the popular 'gourd soup literature' meme. Even though Vincent knows the couple online are not his real parents, their kind words give him comfort. He believes that even a little warmth can make a big difference in a tough world.