I tested some of the most popular ways of meeting new people. Here's what I found
Molly Gorman set out to discover which hobbies are the best for meeting new people. She decided to test four different activities and found some surprising insights about how we connect with one another. On a busy Friday night, she entered a climbing gym in London, feeling a wave of anxiety wash over her. As she looked around, she saw many people climbing high on the walls, their hands covered in chalk. Molly was there to explore the science and art of friendship, as building friendships is essential for our well-being and happiness. As we grow older, it can actually become easier to form and maintain friendships, but knowing where to start can be challenging. London is a bustling city with millions of residents, yet it can still feel isolating. Without opportunities to socialize, it can be tough to try out and develop new friendships. Finding a hobby seems like a natural way to foster social connections, and research suggests that engaging in activities can help. However, with so many clubs, classes, and activities available, which one is truly the best for making friends? To find out, Molly tested three new activities and compared them to one she already enjoyed. She selected a variety of activities, from sports to art, considering different budgets. Here’s what she discovered: 1. Team Sports: £7 ($9) per week. In late 2020, Molly moved to London from the countryside, eager to make friends and establish an exercise routine. She joined a recreational netball league, which is perfect for those who prioritize the social aspect of a team sport over competitiveness. Molly quickly found a wonderful team, and they have been playing together for four years. Every Monday evening, regardless of the weather, they gather on the court, and they also meet outside of the sport for drinks or dinners. If you’re not naturally inclined towards ball games, this activity might not seem appealing, but research indicates that team sports can offer significant benefits for individuals of all ages and abilities. For instance, team sports can improve the social skills of children with disabilities by providing them with opportunities to engage with others. According to Arran Davis, a social connection expert at the University of Oxford, collaborative activities like team sports not only make exercise feel more enjoyable but also help us build social relationships. He explains that when we engage in activities together, we create a shared intention that fosters a sense of closeness. This shared experience can lead to friendships, as we signal to one another that we are friends through our collaboration. Additionally, the endorphins released during aerobic exercise enhance our feelings of connection. A 2023 study found that humans bond through shared experiences, whether it’s walking, dancing, or playing sports. While positive social bonds are crucial for all primates, humans have a unique ability to connect through interactive experiences, which helps us maintain larger social networks. For adults, participation in team sports typically decreases with age, but research suggests it’s never too late to join in. A study examined why adults over 55 engage in team sports and found that community and togetherness were significant motivators, along with potential health benefits. From Molly’s experience, team sports are fantastic for making friends because they provide regular opportunities to see the same people and offer topics for conversation. She has made lifelong friends through netball, and it always brings joy to her week, even when they lose. However, she was curious if trying other activities could help her expand her social circle further, leading her to the bouldering gym. 2. Bouldering: £34 ($40) for a beginners' session. Bouldering is a type of climbing that is done without harnesses or ropes. Studies on bouldering and mental health suggest that this sport may have a more positive effect on mental well-being compared to other activities. In one study, 133 patients with depression participated in bouldering psychotherapy for ten weeks, and the results showed that bouldering alleviated their symptoms. While depression is a complex condition, it’s essential to consult a healthcare provider if you have concerns about your mental health. Like team sports, the benefits of climbing and bouldering extend across different ages and abilities. Researchers surveyed US Veterans and non-Veterans with disabilities and found various therapeutic benefits to adaptive rock climbing. Molly discovered that bouldering positively impacted her mind. While climbing, she focused solely on her next move, considering where her feet should go and how to maintain her grip. It felt like a combination of problem-solving and physical challenge. Climbing centers offer routes of varying difficulty levels, allowing beginners and advanced climbers to boulder together. Molly booked a beginner’s bouldering class, where she quickly bonded with her group as the instructor guided them through techniques and safety. After an hour of learning and testing routes, they were left to explore on their own. Molly noticed that the climbers were supportive and encouraging, creating a social atmosphere. The next day, she woke up with sore forearms, but it was a satisfying feeling after trying something new. Unfortunately, the cost of climbing and bouldering can be high, which may deter some people. To explore more affordable options, she also tried a creative writing class and a life-drawing class. 3. Creative Writing Session: £3 ($3. 80). Molly participated in a creative writing session in East London, designed to help people meet other writers and get inspired. Caitlin Curry, who founded the London Girls Book Club, shared that many women have formed strong friendships through their events. The shared love of books creates a foundation for connection. During the session, everyone was friendly and open. After introductions, they had time to write and share their work, which facilitated bonding. Research indicates that creative writing can help individuals cope with feelings of loneliness and anxiety. Book clubs are also an affordable way to socialize, especially if you borrow books from the library. 4. Life Drawing Class: £15 ($18). Molly attended a life drawing class in London, led by artist Ann Mackowski. The class provided a relaxed environment for participants, and even though Molly felt she wasn’t a skilled artist, she enjoyed the calming experience of drawing. Life drawing can also improve body image, as studies show that attending these classes can lead to higher body appreciation. At the end of the session, Molly realized that all the activities she tried helped her meet new people and build connections. Trying new hobbies is a great way to make friends and feel less lonely. While it may not be an instant solution, it’s worth exploring activities where you can meet others with similar interests. Many people make New Year’s resolutions to try new hobbies, and Molly found that starting conversations with others was easier than she expected. She learned that asking simple questions can lead to enjoyable conversations and new friendships.
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