Music helped me conquer alcohol and sexual abuse

Ross Wilson, a talented Scottish musician who performs under the name Blue Rose Code, has recently released his sixth album, which has become his best-selling record to date. This milestone is not just a reason for celebration; it also prompts Ross to reflect on his challenging past. Growing up in Edinburgh, Ross faced significant struggles, including heavy drinking that began before he even reached his teenage years. His mother battled addiction, and he has gone through rehabilitation multiple times. Additionally, Ross experienced sexual abuse as a child, but he has chosen to forgive his abuser. 'It took me a lot of time to come to terms with,' he shared, discussing the painful memories of the abuse inflicted by someone who was not a family member. 'I've had a load of therapy. What I understand is that people who are abusers have often been abused, and I don't hold any hate in my heart for that man. I wish him well. ' Ross is set to perform at the Pavilion Theatre as part of the Celtic Connections festival, a significant event in the music calendar. Now a father of two, Ross has settled in Liverpool but is excited to return to Scotland for this special gig. The Pavilion Theatre holds a special place in his heart, as it was the venue that inspired him to pursue music over two decades ago. He recalls attending the festival as a teenager, which ignited his passion for music and led him to move to London. His decision to relocate was also a way to escape a troubled teenage life, where he often skipped school and spent his days aimlessly riding buses around Edinburgh, listening to old Motown songs on his Walkman. Ross describes this period as one where he developed 'a bent for self-destruction. ' 'I grew up with my mum as a drug addict,' he explained. 'She was in and out of jail and rehab. My gran raised me until my teens, when I went back to my mum. She was clean for a while, but there was no structure or boundaries. ' It was only after his mother's passing last year that Ross felt ready to discuss his background in depth. His previous album, Bright Circumstance, features a poignant song about a woman trapped by addiction, which was inspired by his mother's struggles in her final months. Their relationship remained complex until the end. 'She got clean when I was around 12 or 13, and I thought she stayed that way until I was about 27,' he recalled. 'I was living in London and came home one day to find her smoking crack in my kitchen. I didn't know what to do. We have this conventional wisdom that we have an obligation to try again and again, but I don't believe blood is thicker than water or anything like that. ' Ross made the difficult decision to love his mother from a distance, especially after becoming a parent himself. In the last months of her life, he took his children to see her separately to say goodbye, and he feels at peace with that choice. 'I love her, but, and I know this sounds heartless, it's also a relief not to worry about trouble coming to my door anymore. ' As a teenager, Ross immersed himself in music and alcohol, both of which continued to influence his life long after his youth. His musical style is often compared to that of Van Morrison and John Martyn, both of whom have had a significant impact on his work. Ross fondly remembers a concert he attended in 2001, where he saw John Martyn perform. 'I was on benefits and had no hope of a life,' he said. 'Six of us went through in my little Ford Fiesta to see John Martyn and Danny Thomson reunite. I'd seen John a number of times, and he could be a mess onstage, but that night he was really lucid, and you could feel the camaraderie onstage. It just had a really transformative effect on me. ' After moving to London and then New York, Ross struggled with alcohol, which exacerbated his temper and hindered his career. 'I've never been able to drink safely,' he admitted. 'One was always too many. I started drinking as often as I could from about 12 or 13. You'd go through your pals' parents' drink cabinets, and other kids could take it or leave it - with me, I was either drinking or thinking about drinking. ' Despite entering rehab multiple times, it wasn't until he was left 'broken' by a relationship that he truly found the help he needed. He drew inspiration from the work of Canadian physician Gabor Maté, who studied the effects of trauma, and from a vicar in Liverpool who discussed faith with him. Now, Ross identifies as a church-goer 'of no particular faith' and finds inspiration in the Bible. He recently shared that he finds the passage 'great is the mystery of faith' particularly meaningful. Music remains at the core of his life, and he is currently working on a new album and even a play. 'I've never had chart success, but my build has been gradual, and what I've had is a real affinity and affection with a core of people,' he explained. 'I guess they identify with my story or the stories I tell. Alcoholism is something that affects all of us, whether first-hand, second-hand, or a generational thing. People often ask if I have any regrets, but I don't regret the past or wish to shut the door. I think that these challenges can really help us help other people.