The mind-changing method measured in minutes

A man and a woman are having a conversation outside, with trees and plants around them. They are discussing how to change each other's opinions. A well-known thinker once said, 'The growth of knowledge depends entirely upon disagreement. ' This means that when people have different views, it can help everyone learn more. If you want to change someone's mind, you need to do it in a friendly and respectful way. Recent psychological research has shown that there are simple techniques we can use to have better conversations about topics that often lead to disagreements. Some of these strategies might surprise you. Many people believe that facts are the most important part of an argument, but studies suggest that sharing personal experiences can make others more likely to listen to our points of view. When we talk about our own experiences, it can strengthen our arguments and make them more relatable. One key takeaway from the research is the importance of curiosity. A recent study called the Friendship Study involved a questionnaire that asked participants how they felt when discussing political or social issues with someone who disagreed with them. The results showed that people often overestimate how much the other person wants to argue, while underestimating their desire to learn and understand different opinions. This is an important reminder that when we find ourselves in a disagreement, the other person may be more open to a constructive conversation than we think. We should treat them with respect and show genuine interest in their views. By asking questions and expressing curiosity about their opinions, we can encourage them to lower their defenses and engage in a more honest exchange of ideas. For instance, in a study conducted in the late 2000s, students were invited to participate in an online debate about whether their university should implement a new set of exams. Many students were strongly opposed to the idea. However, the researchers, who were pretending to be their peers, followed a strict script that varied depending on whether the participant was in the experimental group or the control group. In half of the conversations, the researchers asked the students to elaborate on their views. For example, they might say, 'I was interested in what you're saying. Can you tell me more about how you came to that conclusion? ' This small change in the conversation made a significant difference, leading to a more open-minded response from the participants. They became more willing to continue the discussion and consider the other person's arguments. While we might be skeptical about the results of a single experiment, similar findings were reported by Guy Itzchakov at the University of Haifa in Israel, who conducted research involving hundreds of participants. Actively asking questions about people's beliefs and the reasons behind those beliefs helps lower their defenses, making them more receptive to alternative opinions. After these discussions, participants were more likely to agree with statements like, 'I feel that I ought to re-evaluate my views after this conversation,' indicating that they had become more thoughtful about the issues discussed. Sharing personal experiences during discussions can also enhance our arguments. Surprisingly, many people do not recognize the power of personal stories. In a study conducted by Emily Kubin at the University of North Carolina, participants were asked to choose between presenting facts and evidence or sharing personal experiences on topics like same-sex marriage or abortion. The majority chose facts, while only a small percentage opted for personal experiences. However, Kubin's experiments revealed that sharing personal experiences can be a powerful persuasion tool. Participants who read about individuals with personal experiences on topics like taxation or gun control rated those individuals as more rational and credible, regardless of their initial stance. This suggests that sharing personal experiences can enhance our arguments and make them more persuasive. It is important to combine personal stories with factual evidence to create a well-rounded argument. For example, during the 2018 midterm elections, researchers found that canvassers who shared personal stories alongside statistical arguments were more successful in changing voters' opinions. Even brief conversations can lead to shifts in attitudes, as demonstrated by a study where conversations lasted just 11 minutes. The researchers found that respectful exchanges of experiences were more likely to influence opinions than discussions focused solely on impersonal facts. While the overall effects were modest, resulting in a five-percentage-point shift in views on immigration, it is essential to consider the context. The conversations were short, yet many individuals began to reconsider their strongly held beliefs. Throughout our conversations, it is crucial to maintain a basic level of civility, not only towards our discussion partners but also when discussing others involved in the debate. Research by Jeremy Frimer at the University of Winnipeg and Linda Skitka at the University of Illinois at Chicago has shown that being rude can hinder our ability to persuade others and may even alienate those who were already leaning towards our viewpoint. They refer to this as the civility principle, named after Lady Mary Wortley Montagu, who famously stated, 'Civility costs nothing and buys everything. ' By demonstrating genuine curiosity, sharing personal experiences, and maintaining a civil attitude, we may be surprised by our ability to connect with others and gain a broader perspective in the process.