'Our husbands didn't go to war for Ukraine so we can sit around crying'

Maria Ivashchenko is a Ukrainian woman who has faced unimaginable loss. Her husband, Pavlo, volunteered to fight against the Russian invasion on the very day it began in 2022. Tragically, he was killed six months later during a counter-offensive in the Kherson region, making Maria one of countless Ukrainians mourning the loss of loved ones due to the ongoing conflict. To help cope with her grief, Maria has been attending therapy sessions organized by a volunteer group called Alive. In these sessions, widows and mothers of fallen soldiers come together to express their emotions and find comfort through painting. They create artwork that reflects their memories and love for those they have lost. Maria shares that painting allows her to process her feelings and remember moments that can be difficult to revisit. She states, 'There's total trust. No one will judge you, whether you laugh or cry. ' This safe space fosters understanding and support among the participants, helping them navigate their grief. Maria has also taken on the role of helping others with their painting, as she believes it is a way to cope with their sorrow. The founder of Alive, Olena Sokalska, reports that over 250 women have participated in the project, with a waiting list of around 3,000. The paintings created by these women often depict scenes that remind them of their loved ones or represent dreams they once shared. Some women choose to paint themselves or their husbands, while others create images of angels, symbolizing their families. Olena explains, 'These paintings mark the end of the life they had and the beginning of a new life. ' The war has inflicted deep emotional wounds on many Ukrainians. Anna Stativka, a psychotherapist, explains that the onset of war disrupts people's sense of safety and stability, which are fundamental human needs. After nearly three years of Russia's full-scale invasion, Ukrainians are suffering in various ways. Anna notes, 'When these two basic resources are gone very suddenly, this creates a lot of stress. ' The prolonged nature of the conflict can lead to chronic mental health issues, including anxiety, depression, and difficulties with sleep and concentration. 'You can't stay in this hyper alert state for so long,' she adds, highlighting the toll this takes on individuals' mental and physical well-being. Research indicates that the mental health crisis in Ukraine is significant and worsening. The number of patients seeking help for mental health issues has doubled since 2023, and sales of antidepressants have surged by nearly 50% since 2021. A study published in a medical journal found that 54% of Ukrainians, including refugees, are experiencing PTSD, while 21% report severe anxiety and 18% high levels of stress. Another survey conducted in 2023 revealed that 27% of Ukrainians felt depressed or very sad, an increase from 20% in 2021, the year before the full-scale invasion began. The World Health Organization (WHO) estimates that a large portion of Ukraine's population is experiencing distress due to the war. 'It may have different symptoms. Some feel sadness, some feel anxiety, some have difficulties with sleep, some feel fatigue. Some are getting more angry,' explains Jarno Habicht, the WHO representative in Ukraine. Despite these challenges, Mr. Habicht notes that Ukraine has made progress in addressing the mental health crisis and combating the stigma surrounding mental health issues that has persisted since Soviet times. He emphasizes that mental health was prioritized in the early months of the war, and Ukraine has begun to openly discuss these issues, which is a significant step forward. First Lady Olena Zelenska has been a key figure in promoting mental health awareness through her campaign, and she has collaborated with notable figures like Stephen Fry to highlight the importance of mental health during wartime. Mr. Fry has described the mental health challenges facing Ukraine as an 'urgent crisis,' but he is also impressed by the proactive measures being taken to address it. 'It's extraordinary to me that in Ukraine this is being talked about,' he states. 'It is certainly a strength of Ukraine. ' Anna Stativka observes that one of the ways Ukrainian society has responded to the trauma of war is by coming together to support one another. People have become more willing to help each other and show kindness, even in public spaces. 'People talk to neighbors more. So many are volunteering, donating, trying to help each other. This is a very stabilizing factor,' she explains. Maria Ivashchenko is now raising her four children alone, but she is finding moments of joy again, even if they come with tears. Her message to those who are struggling with their loss is clear: 'Don't be afraid to talk to people. Get out of your bubble. Don't be alone. ' She emphasizes the importance of not giving up and recognizing that they are not alone in their pain. 'Our husbands did not go to war so that we can sit around crying, but so that we keep moving on, so that we keep living. ' The impact of this war will be felt for generations, but Ukrainians are determined to confront their trauma and support one another in the healing process.