Family tensions and splitting the cost: Navigating awkward Christmas moments

The Christmas season is a time filled with joy, but it can also bring about some awkward moments. From unwrapping presents to sharing a festive meal, there are many opportunities for things to go wrong. To help navigate these potential pitfalls, experts have shared their insights on how to handle common holiday dilemmas. One of the most frequent issues during this time is receiving a gift that you do not particularly like. The question arises: should you be honest with the giver or pretend to appreciate the gift? Rupert Wesson, a professional coach from Debrett's, suggests that the answer depends on your relationship with the person who gave you the gift. If you are close to them, it may be acceptable to express your true feelings. However, if you do not know them well, it is often better to smile and say you love it. Laura Windsor, another etiquette expert, advises against making any negative facial expressions when opening a gift. Instead, she recommends pretending to be pleased and making a positive comment about how useful the gift will be. If you find yourself with an unwanted present, both experts agree that it is perfectly acceptable to donate it to charity or re-gift it to someone else in the future. Mr. Wesson also emphasizes the importance of keeping the gift receipt, just in case you need to return it. After all, no one is perfect when it comes to gift-giving. Another significant aspect of the holiday season is the cost of food. While prices for traditional items like turkey and Brussels sprouts have decreased this year, many families are still feeling the financial strain. Ms. Windsor suggests creating a 'Christmas pot' where everyone contributes money for the meal. Alternatively, you could ask each guest to bring a specific dish or drink. Mr. Wesson agrees that there is no shame in asking for help with the costs, and open communication about these matters is essential. Family gatherings can sometimes lead to disagreements, especially if people have indulged a bit too much. Ms. Windsor advises not to take any arguments personally and to try to steer the conversation in a more positive direction. Keeping the atmosphere light and cheerful is crucial. If there are known tensions among family members, Mr. Wesson suggests addressing these issues before Christmas Day. This way, everyone can be on the same page and avoid unnecessary conflicts. When it comes to showing appreciation to your host, Ms. Windsor cautions against overusing the phrase 'thank you,' as it can diminish its significance. Instead, she recommends expressing gratitude in other ways, such as offering to help with the preparations, bringing a small gift, or complimenting the quality of the food. Mr. Wesson also suggests sending a thank you note after the holiday, which he considers the 'gold standard' of expressing gratitude. If you have specific dietary needs, such as being vegetarian or vegan, it is important to inform the host ahead of time. Ms. Windsor stresses that this proactive approach helps prevent any misunderstandings on the day of the celebration. If tensions arise regarding food preferences, it is essential to remain empathetic and change the subject if necessary. As the Christmas dinner approaches, if you find yourself growing impatient while waiting for the food to be served, Mr. Wesson suggests offering to lend a hand in the kitchen. If you do not enjoy the meal, it is perfectly acceptable to say you have had enough. Ms. Windsor advises against drawing attention to the fact that you are not eating, and to avoid piling too much food on your plate in case you do not like it. Finally, if you receive cards or gifts after Christmas, organization is key. Ms. Windsor emphasizes that being timely with your greetings and gifts shows that you care. However, if you miss the deadline, Mr. Wesson suggests reaching out to the recipient to let them know that their gift is on the way and to apologize for the delay. Ultimately, the golden rule for Christmas is to be prepared and to treat others as you would like to be treated. By following these guidelines, you can enjoy the holiday season with less stress and more joy.