Why parents are locking themselves in cells at Korean 'happiness factory'

In South Korea, some parents are voluntarily spending time in solitary confinement cells to better understand their children who have withdrawn from society. These cells, part of a facility known as the Happiness Factory, are small and isolated, with only a feeding hole in the door connecting them to the outside world. No phones or laptops are allowed, and the rooms are no bigger than a store cupboard, with only bare walls for company. The parents wear blue prison uniforms, but they are not inmates; they are there to experience what it feels like to be cut off from the world. Many of these parents have children who are hikikomori, a term from Japan that describes severe social withdrawal among adolescents and young adults. A survey by the South Korean Ministry of Health and Welfare found that more than 5% of young people aged 19 to 34 were isolating themselves, which translates to about 540,000 people in South Korea.

Since April, parents have been participating in a 13-week parental education program funded and run by NGOs like the Korea Youth Foundation and the Blue Whale Recovery Centre. The aim of the program is to teach parents how to communicate better with their children. The program includes three days in a facility in Hongcheon-gun, Gangwon Province, where participants spend time in a room that replicates a solitary-confinement cell. The hope is that this isolation will offer parents a deeper understanding of their children's experiences.

One participant, Ms Jin, has a son who has been isolating himself in his bedroom for three years. After spending time in confinement herself, Ms Jin understands her 24-year-old son's 'emotional prison' a little better. She has been reflecting on what she might have done wrong and has gained some clarity. Her son has always been talented, but he struggled to maintain friendships and developed an eating disorder, making it difficult for him to go to school. When he started university, he seemed to be doing well for a term, but then he totally withdrew. Seeing him locked in his room, neglecting personal hygiene and meals, broke her heart. Although her son is reluctant to talk about what is truly wrong, Ms Jin realized that he is protecting himself with silence because no one understands him.

Another participant, Ms Park, came to the Happiness Factory for her 26-year-old son, who cut off all communication with the outside world seven years ago. After running away from home a few times, he now rarely leaves his room. Ms Park took him to a counsellor and doctors, but he refused to take the mental-health medication he was prescribed and became obsessed with playing video games. While Ms Park still struggles to reach her son, she has started to better understand his feelings through the isolation program. She realized that it is important to accept her child's life without forcing him into a specific mold.

Research by the South Korean Ministry of Health and Welfare suggests that there are various factors driving young people to cut themselves off. The most common reasons are difficulties finding a job, issues with interpersonal relationships, family problems, and health issues. South Korea has some of the highest suicide rates in the world, and last year, the government unveiled a five-year plan to address this issue. The plan includes state-funded mental health check-ups for people aged 20-34 every two years.

In Japan, the first wave of young people isolating themselves in the 1990s has led to a demographic of middle-aged people dependent on their elderly parents. This has caused some older people to fall into poverty and depression. Prof Jeong Go-woon from Kyung Hee University says that Korean society's expectation that big life milestones should be reached at set times amplifies young people's anxiety, especially in times of economic stagnation and low employment. The view that a child's achievements are a parental success contributes to entire families sinking into isolation. Many parents perceive their child's struggles as a failure in upbringing, leading to a sense of guilt.

This cultural emphasis on hard work may reflect South Korea's rapid economic growth in the second half of the 21st century, but the country's wealth inequality has worsened over the last three decades. Some parents say they have started to understand their isolated children better since being in the program. Blue Whale Recovery Centre director Kim Ok-ran says that the view that self-isolating young people are a 'family problem' means many parents also end up cutting off those around them. Some are so afraid of being judged that they cannot even talk to close family members about their situation, leading them to stop attending family gatherings during holidays.

The parents who have come to the Happiness Factory for help are still eagerly awaiting the day their children can resume a normal life. Ms Jin says she would tell her son, 'You've been through so much. It was hard, wasn't it? I'll be watching over you.