'If you want to have a child, why wait for a man?'

In recent years, there has been a significant increase in the number of single women in the UK opting for fertility treatments such as IVF and artificial insemination. According to a report from the fertility regulator, the number of single women pursuing these options has more than tripled over the past decade. This trend is attributed to various factors, including women choosing to delay motherhood until they are older and the challenges of finding a stable partner. Despite the growing interest in single parenthood, many women still encounter financial obstacles when seeking treatment and raising children alone. We spoke with several mothers who have chosen to embark on the journey of single parenthood, and they shared their personal experiences. Gina, a 39-year-old mother, reflected on her decision to become a single parent after undergoing a fertility assessment in her mid-30s. She recalled feeling relieved when she learned that her fertility was good for her age, leading her to think, 'This is something that I want to do. ' Although she had dated on and off, Gina felt that it was better to pursue motherhood independently rather than remain in a relationship that might not lead to children. She underwent intrauterine insemination (IUI) using donor sperm, which cost her approximately £1,500, and successfully became pregnant in 2021. Gina has a strong support system, with her sister attending the gender scan and her mother being present during the birth. She expressed that she did not experience anxiety about being a single parent, stating, 'Doing it on my own terms suited me. ' After welcoming her son in 2022, Gina moved back to Northumberland to alleviate the pressures and costs associated with childcare. While she acknowledged the challenges of single parenthood, she emphasized her determination to manage on her own. 'If you’re at a place in your life where you want to have a child and you’ve got love and support around you, why wait for a man? ' she said. Sophie, another mother we spoke to, is 46 years old and has a daughter named Martha, who was conceived through a frozen embryo transfer. Sophie spent much of her 30s enjoying life, but as she approached 40, she began to worry about her chances of becoming a parent. 'You realize your clock's ticking, and it hasn’t happened as you’d imagined it might,' she admitted. After initially trying IUI and experiencing a miscarriage, Sophie decided to freeze her eggs and pursue IVF on her own. In 2021, she successfully had a frozen embryo transfer while dating a same-sex partner, who is now Martha's legal parent. Sophie invested around £30,000 in the entire process but considers herself a solo parent. Throughout her pregnancy and early motherhood, she did not experience panic or regret. Some people questioned her decision, including a consultant who expressed concerns about raising a child as a single parent. However, Sophie has found that her bond with Martha is incredibly special, and she is committed to being open with her daughter about her conception as she grows older. Michelle, who is 42, also chose to become a single parent after a long-term relationship ended. She had always wanted children, but her partner was uncertain about starting a family. 'When that relationship ended, I felt like, 'I'm 38 now, I don't really have time to find a person and allow that relationship to develop in a natural way,' she explained. Instead of delaying her plans for a baby, Michelle decided to focus on motherhood. She underwent IUI using a sperm donor and became pregnant. Before giving birth to her son in 2021, she stayed with her mother for support. Michelle acknowledged that there are both advantages and disadvantages to being a single parent. 'Every single thing is on your shoulders; you don’t get to go for a coffee with your friend without a baby. You’re always on,' she said. However, she also appreciates the freedom to make decisions about her children's upbringing. In 2023, she welcomed a daughter through the same method. The three of them now live in Milton Keynes, where Michelle balances work and childcare. Despite the increasing number of single women seeking fertility treatments, there are still significant barriers to access. Many single women cannot receive funding for fertility treatments in various parts of the UK. IUI is not routinely offered on the NHS, and eligibility for IVF funding varies depending on the patient's location. In Scotland, single women do not receive funding for fertility treatments, while in England, access is inconsistent due to local decision-making. Dr. Catherine Hill from Fertility Network UK highlighted that while the trend of single women opting for IVF or artificial insemination is growing, financial challenges remain. She also noted that societal attitudes toward single parenthood have evolved, and it is essential for policies to align with these changing perspectives.