Blake Lively's PR woes and how we talk about victims

Blake Lively, a well-known actress, has recently faced criticism regarding her promotion of her new film, 'It Ends With Us. ' This film is based on a novel that tells the story of a woman who experiences domestic violence. The controversy began when Ashley Paige, a domestic violence survivor, posted a TikTok video that quickly gained four million views. In her video, she expressed her disappointment, saying, 'This message is for Blake Lively. Hi Blake. I’m a domestic violence survivor and my heart honestly just broke for the domestic violence community because in this movie, you represented us. ' Ashley feels that Blake's promotional efforts have not adequately addressed the serious themes of the film, instead focusing on fashion and lighthearted aspects. Critics argue that the film has been marketed like a romance, with the trailer failing to reveal the abuse storyline. Blake Lively portrays a character named Lily Bloom, a florist who falls in love with a surgeon. Their relationship starts off exciting but soon turns abusive, featuring several graphic scenes, including one of attempted rape. Ashley Paige, who lives in Colorado with her daughter, relates to Lily's story, stating, 'My life story is very reminiscent of [Lively’s character] Lily Bloom’s. I had a daughter with my abuser and we ran. ' However, she is frustrated with how Blake has described her character. Blake has referred to Lily as both a 'survivor' and a 'victim,' emphasizing that these labels do not define her identity. At the London premiere, she stated, 'You are so much more than just a survivor or just a victim. While that is a huge thing, you are a person of multitudes, and what someone has done to you doesn’t define you. You define you. ' Ashley, however, takes issue with this perspective, arguing that her trauma is an integral part of her identity. She explained, 'It has shaped my identity. It shapes the way I communicate. It shapes the way I perceive the world… It shapes everything. ' Ashley believes that while it may not be their entire identity, the experience of abuse influences every aspect of their lives. On social media, trauma therapist Maddie Spear also weighed in, stating, 'While I love the positivity in promoting light and life, oftentimes trauma survivors are told to just make light of their story… and I feel like [Lively’s] actions are doing just that. Her actions are continuing to make victims feel like their story is too heavy to even talk about. ' In an opinion piece for Glamour magazine, writer Kathleen Wash pointed out that saying someone is 'more than just a survivor' implies that there is something negative about identifying as a victim. A spokesperson for the charity Solace Women’s Aid echoed this sentiment, suggesting that such statements could reinforce feelings of shame among victims regarding the ongoing impact of abuse. However, opinions on this matter vary among survivors. Some individuals find empowerment in Blake's message that they are not defined by their trauma. The backlash against Blake's comments may stem from the perception that she has downplayed the seriousness of the subject matter through the film's marketing. Online, videos have circulated showing Blake's more lighthearted responses to questions about her character. In one red carpet interview, she joked about her floral outfit, saying, 'You can go deep sea diving in it. ' In another clip, she encouraged viewers to watch the film by saying, 'Grab your girls and wear your florals! ' Throughout the press tour, Blake has also promoted her various off-screen businesses, including a new hair care line and her alcoholic beverage brand. Studies have shown a significant link between alcohol and domestic violence, which raises concerns about her drink business promoting cocktail recipes inspired by the film's characters, including the abuser, Ryle. Ashley Paige has called this 'wildly inappropriate. ' She believes that the film's marketing is misleading, failing to adequately prepare viewers for the serious themes of domestic abuse. The charity Women's Aid has also expressed concern, stating that much of the marketing has overlooked the film's focus on domestic violence, leaving viewers unaware of the potentially distressing content. In the United States, statistics reveal that more than one in three women and one in four men have experienced rape, physical violence, or stalking by an intimate partner in their lifetime. In the UK, the Office for National Statistics estimates that one in five adults have experienced domestic abuse, with one in four women and one in seven men affected. Following the film's US premiere, Ashley noticed a surge of comments on TikTok from viewers who felt triggered by the film. Many shared their experiences, saying things like, 'I’m still trying to recover from the movie. Took me right back. ' Domestic abuse organizations emphasize the importance of handling portrayals of abusive situations in popular culture with sensitivity. Andrea Simon from the End Violence against Women Coalition stated that the potential impact on survivors should be a primary consideration in every aspect of media development. Blake has previously expressed her commitment to honoring the source material and the responsibility that comes with it. In response to the growing criticism, she recently shared links to domestic abuse hotlines and charities on social media. Her co-star Brandon Sklenar also affirmed that everyone involved in the film was aware of the responsibility they had in creating it.