'I've not heard of incel before': Teenager dissects Adolescence with his worried parents

In the Netflix series 'Adolescence', a 13-year-old boy named Jamie finds himself in serious trouble after being accused of murdering a girl. This incident occurs after he is exposed to harmful online content and experiences cyberbullying. The show highlights the challenges that teenagers face today, particularly regarding their interactions on social media. A 15-year-old boy named Ben, along with his parents Sophie and Martin, recently watched the series together. They engaged in a thoughtful discussion about the impact of social media on young people. Ben expressed that discussing sexual feelings with his parents feels awkward, stating, 'It's just weird to talk about your sexual feelings to your parents. ' His parents nodded in understanding, recognizing the importance of having open conversations about sensitive topics. They are concerned that the material Ben encounters online could influence his behavior, and they want to help him establish boundaries around his phone usage. The family decided to watch 'Adolescence' to better understand the issues presented in the show. During the viewing, Sophie took notes on various topics to discuss with Ben afterward. They talked about the challenges of friendships between boys and girls and the use of derogatory language online. Ben admitted that he was unfamiliar with the term 'incel,' which refers to men who blame women for their inability to find romantic partners. He suggested that the term might not be as common among his peers anymore, reflecting the fast-paced nature of online conversations. Ben recognized some elements of the show, particularly the portrayal of bullying and fights at school, but he felt it only provided a rough depiction of teenage life. He believed the show was primarily aimed at adults who may not fully understand the online world. Ben pointed out that the series fails to showcase the positive aspects of social media, focusing instead on its dangers. He also noted that some details, like secret emoji codes used by kids, seemed unrealistic. Martin, who enjoyed the drama, felt that the show played on parents' fears about their children's online activities, sometimes prioritizing shock value over realism. The show mentions Andrew Tate, a controversial figure in the online world, and Ben shared that while Tate was once popular at his school, he is now considered 'old news. ' Ben observed how Tate combines health advice with far-right political ideas, which he finds concerning. Both of Ben's parents agreed that Tate is not the root cause of misogyny; rather, he represents a larger societal issue. The series paints a bleak picture of male-female friendships in the age of social media. Jamie, the main character, lacks female friends and views relationships with girls through a lens of dominance. Sophie expressed her concern that interactions between boys and girls in Ben's peer group are often distant and impersonal. She worries that Ben is learning how to interact with girls primarily from social media. When she asked him where he would go for help if he felt awkward talking to girls, Ben replied, 'Online. ' This led to a discussion about how young people often turn to the internet for advice. Ben admitted to using ChatGPT and TikTok for guidance on these topics. Sophie recalled a visit Ben made to his cousin's house, where he learned that boys and girls can be friends without romantic feelings. This realization was eye-opening for him. The show also addresses the issue of sharing intimate images without consent. Jamie's victim, Katie, faces bullying after a male classmate shares private pictures of her. Ben has witnessed similar incidents among his peers, where boys share explicit images of girls. He believes that pornography is a significant issue among his friends, with some feeling dependent on it to cope with their emotions. Ben feels uncomfortable discussing pornography but acknowledges its prevalence in his generation. He also mentioned that he often encounters distressing content online, including violent videos. Ben's parents are aware that just because he is in his room does not mean he is safe from harmful material. They want to provide him with better opportunities to build his self-esteem and connect with others. They believe that children need positive role models and activities to help them stay engaged. Ben expressed admiration for his sports coaches, who he feels have strong morals. His parents strive to keep him busy with various activities to reduce his screen time, but they recognize that this can be challenging for families with limited resources. They believe that children who lack opportunities to develop their self-esteem are more vulnerable to the negative influences of misogynistic figures online. The parents agree that tech companies, schools, and families must work together to offer young people a healthier alternative to the harmful messages they encounter online. Ben feels that adults often dismiss online experiences as irrelevant to real life, which he believes is a mistake. He argues that social media should be treated as a real part of life because it is indeed real life.