The people turning to AI for dating and relationship advice

More and more people are turning to artificial intelligence AI for help with dating and relationships. Rachel, a young woman from Sheffield, wanted advice before meeting up with a man she had previously dated. Instead of asking her friends, she decided to use ChatGPT, a popular AI chatbot. Rachel asked ChatGPT how she could talk to the man without sounding defensive. The AI responded with supportive advice, telling her she was emotionally mature and giving her tips for the conversation. Rachel found the advice useful, but she noticed that the language sounded like therapy, using words such as 'boundaries. ' She appreciated that ChatGPT reminded her to handle things on her own terms, but she did not follow the advice exactly.

Rachel is not alone in using AI for relationship advice. Research shows that almost half of Generation Z Americans have used AI chatbots like ChatGPT for dating advice, more than any other age group. People use AI to help write breakup messages, analyze conversations with people they are dating, and solve relationship problems. Dr Lalitaa Suglani, a psychologist and relationship expert, says AI can be helpful for people who feel overwhelmed or unsure about communicating in relationships. AI can help them write texts, process confusing messages, or get a second opinion, which can help them pause and think before reacting. Dr Suglani compares AI to a journaling prompt or a space for reflection, which can be supportive if used as a tool and not as a replacement for real human connection.

However, Dr Suglani warns that AI chatbots are designed to be helpful and agreeable, so they might repeat back what you say and validate unhealthy patterns or assumptions. This can reinforce distorted ideas or avoidance behaviors, such as using AI to write a breakup text to avoid uncomfortable feelings. Relying too much on AI for advice can also stop people from developing their own emotional language and intuition. AI messages can sound emotionally flat and scripted, which might feel strange to the person receiving them.

Some people do not feel comfortable talking to friends or family about their relationships because they fear being judged. Es Lee, the founder of Mei, an AI relationship advice service, says his program helps people with relationship dilemmas. Many users ask about sex, a topic they might not want to discuss with friends or therapists. People also use AI to reword messages or fix problems in their relationships. Es Lee says safety is important, and Mei has built-in rules to protect users. OpenAI, the company behind ChatGPT, says its latest model is better at avoiding unhealthy emotional dependence and encourages users to seek professional help when needed. Privacy is also a concern, and Mei only collects an email address and deletes conversations after 30 days.

Some people use AI alongside human therapists. Corinne, from London, used ChatGPT for advice when ending a relationship and asked it to respond in the style of her favorite relationship experts. She also used it for dating advice, asking if she should go on another date. Corinne has a therapist for deeper issues, but she uses AI for quick advice about dating. She says AI helps her feel calm when friends are not available, but she keeps some distance from the advice, knowing that AI just repeats what it thinks you want to hear. AI is becoming a popular tool for people seeking help with dating and relationships, especially when they want quick advice or do not want to talk to others.