Self-care for carers is vital, say Singapore fiancé of woman with depression and a psychiatrist – who has advice on how to safeguard their mental health

Bernadette Loh began experiencing signs of depression, such as apathy and memory loss, at the young age of nine, likely due to a difficult home life. Diagnosed with depression as a university student, she was prescribed medication and therapy. Now a lawyer in Singapore, the 26-year-old continues her treatment with the support of her loved ones, including her fiancu00e9, Nicholas Sim. They met after her graduation and have been together for over three years. Nicholas educated himself on depression to better support Bernadette, emphasizing that her condition does not define her. He acknowledges that while her symptoms fluctuate, they manage them as a team, and their mutual love eases the process. Dr. Lim Boon Leng, a psychiatrist from Singapore, warns that caregivers of depressed individuals might also experience depressive symptoms due to emotional contagion. Caregivers share similar risk factors and may suffer from 'carer burnout,' feeling overwhelmed by the emotional and sometimes financial demands of their role. Dr. Lim advises caregivers to maintain their mental health by setting boundaries, sharing responsibilities, and practicing self-care. He stresses the importance of understanding depression as a medical condition and treating those affected with patience and empathy. Bernadette's support network helps her manage social commitments and strives to understand her experiences, though they sometimes struggle with her depressive episodes. Beyond her personal circle, Bernadette participates in a peer-support group, Circles of Resilience, where she connects with others facing similar challenges. Nicholas also focuses on his well-being through activities like walking and painting, ensuring he does not internalize Bernadette's struggles. He finds fulfillment in caring for her and remains committed to supporting her recovery.