“我被丈夫下藥並強姦多年”

Kate's life took a dark turn when she discovered a horrifying truth about her husband. One evening, during what she thought was a normal conversation, he revealed, 'I have been raping you. I've been sedating you and taking photographs of you for years. ' This shocking confession left Kate speechless and frozen in disbelief. It was as if he was casually discussing dinner plans rather than admitting to years of abuse. This story contains sensitive topics, including sexual violence, and it is important to approach it with care. For many years, Kate endured a controlling and abusive relationship. Her husband was not only violent but also misused prescription medications. There were times when Kate would wake up to find him having sex with her while she was asleep, which she could not consent to. This was a clear case of rape. After these incidents, he would express remorse, claiming he was unaware of his actions and that he needed help. Kate, wanting to support him, encouraged him to seek medical assistance. However, she was completely unaware that he was secretly spiking her tea with sleeping pills at night, allowing him to assault her while she was unconscious. The term 'chemical control' is now used to describe this form of abuse. After her husband's confession, he threatened her, saying that if she went to the police, his life would be ruined. This left Kate in a difficult position. She was the mother of his children and could not fathom that the man she had shared her life with could be capable of such cruelty. As the months passed, the weight of his confession began to take a toll on her health. Kate became increasingly ill, losing weight and suffering from panic attacks. Nearly a year after the confession, during a particularly severe panic attack, she confided in her sister about everything that had happened. Her sister, alarmed and concerned, contacted their mother, who then reached out to the police. Kate's husband was arrested and questioned, but just four days later, she contacted the police to say she did not want to proceed with the case. 'I just wasn't ready,' she explained. 'There was a grief, not just for me, but for the children. Their dad would never be who he was. ' Despite her reluctance, Kate knew she could not continue living with her husband, and he moved out. This separation allowed her to start thinking more clearly about the situation. Six months later, she returned to the police, and an investigation was launched, led by Detective Constable Mike Smith. He played a crucial role in helping Kate understand that she was a survivor of a serious crime. 'He helped give me my power back,' she said. 'I didn't consciously realize that I'd had it taken away. He explained that it was rape. ' Kate learned about another woman, Gisèle Pelicot, who had a similar experience. Gisèle, a French woman, endured nearly a decade of covert abuse by her husband, who drugged her and allowed other men to assault her while she was unconscious. Gisèle's case gained international attention, highlighting the severity of such abuse. After her husband's confession, Kate's case was complicated by the fact that he had sought help from a psychiatrist, where he admitted to drugging her for sex. This confession was documented in the psychiatrist's notes. Despite this evidence, the police initially decided not to charge Kate's husband, leaving her confused and frustrated. 'If you have not got enough evidence in my case to convict, with confessions from the perpetrator, then how does anybody else stand a chance? ' she questioned. Feeling devastated, Kate requested a formal review of the Crown Prosecution Service's decision. Six months later, the CPS announced that her ex-husband would be charged, admitting that their original decision was flawed. 'While we get the vast majority of our charging decisions right the first time, this was not the case here, and we apologize to the victim for the distress this will have caused,' a CPS spokesperson stated. The case eventually went to court in 2022, five years after Kate's husband confessed. During the trial, he attempted to claim that Kate had a fantasy of being tied up and woken up for consensual sex. He admitted to drugging her but insisted it was to restrain her without waking her. The jury did not believe his defense. 'I saw it as being absolutely preposterous,' said Detective Constable Smith. 'This is the most traumatic thing in her life, and they were very much painting her as a fully engaged party for some sort of sexual kink. ' After a week-long trial, Kate's ex-husband was found guilty of rape, sexual assault by penetration, and administering a substance with intent. The judge described him as 'a self-obsessed person, endlessly prioritizing his own perceived needs,' who showed 'no real personal remorse. ' He was sentenced to 11 years in prison and received a lifelong restraining order. Now, three years later, Kate is working to rebuild her life with her children. She has been diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and a neurological disorder due to the trauma she experienced. Kate sees parallels between her case and Gisèle's, expressing her hope that Gisèle receives the support she needs. The term 'chemical control' is now being used to describe domestic abusers who use medication as a weapon. Experts warn that this issue is likely more common than people realize. Kate wants others to understand that abuse can happen quietly and that it is essential to talk about it. She is still learning about her experiences and how they have impacted her life.