Perfectionism is often seen as a positive trait, especially in the workplace. Many people mention it in job interviews as a way to show they care about doing things well. However, striving for perfection can sometimes hold people back instead of helping them succeed. Aswan, a 25-year-old, shares that she feels like she is always setting herself up for failure or disappointment. Even though she knows perfection is impossible, she keeps chasing it. At work, she feels pressure and worries about making mistakes, even though she knows one mistake won't cost her job. This constant fear makes her anxious and stressed.
Health psychologist Dr Sula Windgassen explains that perfectionism often goes hand in hand with low self-esteem. People who are perfectionists are afraid of failing, which can lead to procrastination. Aswan remembers her driving theory test. She was so worried about passing it the first time that when she failed by just a few points, she never tried again. That was almost four years ago. Perfectionism can be influenced by personality, but also by childhood experiences, school environments, and parental expectations. These factors shape what we believe is 'good enough. '
Although perfectionism is not a clinical diagnosis, its effects are real. It can cause anxiety, tiredness, and even physical symptoms like a weakened immune system. Experts say it's possible to break the cycle of perfectionism. Dr Windgassen suggests starting with a behavioral experiment. This involves writing down what you think will happen if things aren't perfect, then testing those predictions in real life. Often, the outcome isn't as bad as expected, and positive things can come from trying a new approach. For example, going to bed earlier might leave you feeling more refreshed.
Dayna, 26, describes herself as a 'former perfectionist. ' She used to sacrifice her well-being to achieve flawless results, but now she's relieved to have moved past that. She kept a journal and read self-help books to become more self-aware and develop coping strategies. Dayna learned that being a perfectionist isn't as noble as she once thought. Her harsh inner critic led to burnout, anxiety, and stress. Now, she is content with trying her best and accepting that she can't always control the outcome.
Not all perfectionism is harmful. Some people set ambitious goals but are flexible enough to adapt when circumstances change. For example, an athlete might set tough goals but reduce training if injured. However, research shows that aiming for extremely high goals can lead to long working hours with only small improvements in performance. Working through perfectionistic tendencies can be uncomfortable, but Dr Windgassen says that discomfort is part of the process. It's important to remember that doing your best is enough, and you don't have to be perfect to succeed.
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